Sunday, 30 December 2012


Mouth dry, heart pumping and all non-vital body functions shut down as I got to a certain point beyond which I knew I couldn't climb back down. The only way onwards was upwards. I fought the mountain, the snow and myself and eventually got up to where everyone was waiting for me. I had done it and conquered my fears. Planning the short route left to the summit I nonchalantly ask which way we will descend- back down the gully that just now nearly broke my will. It turned out easier than I thought but then again I thought it was impossible. It was good to feel the fear and push through it, it was good to get the non-vital body function back.

Tuesday, 18 December 2012

Like a dog

with two dicks- King Dick adjustable; part wrench, part vice, all meat, no potato.

Wednesday, 5 December 2012

Voodoo Tiki

I was trawling eBay looking for that special something vaguely tagged as Tiki and could find nothing except plastic tat. Bar a couple of retailers, the UK is mostly devoid of Tiki culture so I made this myself. The research and development was quite lengthy and there are more discarded than I have left but this is the final draft- what I've come to call The Voodoo Tiki Carved Resin Woodblock Monkey Glow Skull. As suggested in the name this little beauty glows in the dark! Mental! If you want one lets haggle a price cos I have no idea what they are worth what with their magical protective powers and all.

Beware of forgeries, fakes and copyright theft. They shall be forever curse'd and despise'd.

Tuesday, 20 November 2012


3 1/2" ratchet kit featuring a fine tooth ratchet mechanism with reverse lever and thumb wheel for quick rotation and control in tight spots complete with nine of your favourite bits all in a Nylon case at a meagre 103g.

I'm a sucker for this kind of stuff.

Sunday, 18 November 2012

The Shed of Earthly Delights

The Shed of Earthly Delights is a long way from finished but I could wait no longer. I've moved my bikes in even though there is still a significant water ingress situation. The walls are lined with the side panels from the old shed, I've lashed up the floor with a couple of coats of paint, built a sturdy work bench (again from the remnants of timber from the old shed) and can now start to move my tools in. It's over twice the size of the old shed and feels luxurious in comparison. No doubt I'll fill it with clutter in short order but so far it's perfect. Once the electrics are sorted it will be time for shed beers although that may take a while as electricians seem to be quite hard to get hold of round these parts. The old shed is dead, long live the new shed.

Thursday, 8 November 2012

White and Black

Jack White, Blackpool.

For my liking, Blackpools faded grandeur has been too well hidden behind the tacky signs of variety shows and merchants of tat. There are all speeds of fast food from the quickstep to the mad dash and none of it anything more than average fodder.

Stepping in from the outside and it's less easy to hide the original decor, which is sometimes quite outstanding; deco mixed with Louis XIIII. The resin reproduction of a Spanish galleon was amusing to say the least although I did shudder a little to think what they ripped out to install it.

We tunnelled deeper to find our place within the throng of the faithful, the youthful, impatient crowd weened on festivals and keen to bring that discipline to this venue. The repeated barging forward and patticake dancing were not really to my taste but then, in my early years, I was schooled in dancing that bruised and often drew blood. Barring that, Mr White was amazing. I confess that I don't get everything that he does but I have to say that I loved every minute. He let the music do the talking and played the crowd with diverse dynamics. It surprised me that he didn't banter more and play more solos but that only occurred to me afterwards. The show was pure music and was spectacular.

Thursday, 25 October 2012

Bird spotting.

The agonisingly beautiful EV/Blue Cardinal mic. My new toy- I mean tool. Can't wait to use it.

Wednesday, 24 October 2012


I like parties.
I like parties with bonfires.
I like parties with bonfires and bands that play on top of hay bales stacked high in a barn, jamming late into the night, drinking beer.

Tuesday, 23 October 2012

I been stung

by Johnny the Wasp- my good friend and excellent photographer. Love the stickers dude, gonna stick em on my bikes soon as I get them in the new and revived Shed of Earthly Delights once it's finished. Cheers Johnny.

Thursday, 4 October 2012

The Highlands

It was shortly after this I found myself neither here nor there. The climb in was endless, mostly carrying my bike but when I stopped to look up and see if I could trace the call of wild stags I was struck by the serenity of being absolutely in the middle of nowhere. The downhill back to what they call civilisation round these parts was awesome bar one unfortunate and rather sudden stoppage in a drainage ditch.

Tuesday, 25 September 2012


by post.


Tuesday, 18 September 2012

Nice Package



I once read that silver jewellery takes on the personality of the wearer as it is quite a soft metal and will mold to how that person wears it and what they do over many, many years. Looking at my own jewellery I can agree. The rings warp from vibration against the handlebars, they wear from sliding in and out of pockets, they dent from hitting against other metals.

I look forward to my new closedmondays belt and accessories doing the same. Straight out of the box and its protective tissue lining you are hit by the weight and smell, the audible creak as the belt slides through the buckle, the feeling of the locator dropping into the flywheel at top dead centre as the tongue of the buckle falls into the middle hole. It was made to fit me and only me. And, because it knows me, it has concessionary holes either side for christmas and for wishful thinking. I'm gonna need it to cut me some slack at christmas and one day I may just punch the dust out of the next tighter hole- you never know.

Eventually the leather will crease and scar, the edges will round and wear, it will dull from age and use, but it will never break or crack and I doubt if it will ever stretch. Thats when it will tell a story of me. You can't fake that patina; it looks like it's done thousands of miles because it has done thousands of miles- it's real because I am real.

I have owned lots of belts but this is the first one that I love- thank you, Gav. Go get yourself a closedmondays belt, belt loop and lanyard, you won't be sorry. As endorsed by the guys at Eat Dust- if anyone knows quality they do.

(I'm looking forward to the guitar strap and plectrum.)

Tuesday, 11 September 2012

Now the music's over...

... get back to work.

closedmondays leather business card holder- superlative quality handcrafted goods. Perhaps with the aid of this beautiful item I'll remember to take my business cards with me. More on closedmondays soon.

Sunday, 9 September 2012

The Trip Out road trip

It was a good ride down, stopping overnight with a pal in Sheffield and then on to a diner for a early lunch the next day. Arrived on site suitably early and proceeded to drink. Continued to drink all weekend bar a short spell on saturday when we went for a run out. I stood more chance of winning the digger than the Beardo competition but, alas, didn't win that either.We partied til there was no more party left to be had anywhere on site and a kindly neighbour told us it was 4am. Great weekend.

Thursday, 6 September 2012


Like, real gone daddy-o. Going visiting with friends on the way to the Trip Out. See you in the bar around lunchtime.

Sunday, 2 September 2012

All along the watchtower

Stormin the Castle 2012.
It's not a real castle and thankfully it wasn't storming. For us it's always been the big end of season rally and, despite having recently fallen out of love with 'normal' biker parties, I always look forward to it. It's a good excuse to meet up with friends from all over the north of England and drink plenty of ale while watching some amazing bands. This year was plentiful muddy and quite low key compared to previous years but nonetheless it was still a good party. The show had some interesting machines; some very tasty, some not my taste but still interesting from an engineering point of view. I agreed with the judges on their choice of winners.
This year the big finale is the Trip Out- see you there.

Thursday, 30 August 2012


Farewell dear shed, haven for all these years, home to my motorcycling dreams and aspirations, shelter whilst enjoying a smoke, genesis of many a crazy invention- some that actually worked. It was here I completely rebuilt my triumph motor and gearbox. These walls are imbued with oil, petrol, blood, sweat and, yes, even tears. I now wait in limbo for the new improved shed to arrive.

Sunday, 19 August 2012


Had a nice little ride out this morning to a car show at a local stately home. Not much to report beyond that except the donuts were good. A healthy smattering of MGs, minis, Fords and so on and a few stand out vehicles. The one that caught my eye was the Jowet Jupiter; beautiful sporty lines and a lovely wood interior. A few nice vans (none as nice as Guys obviously) and very few bikes. Still, it was a nice day out so no complaints.

Saturday, 18 August 2012

Dr Funk

Not a fat German record producer or Princes keyboard player but a subtle blend of Pernod and light rum- very pleasing.

Wednesday, 15 August 2012


Looks like the 45 has had her summer and barring local rides is not likely to get far for the rest of the year. Everything from here on in is a Triumph trip- which is lucky cos I love my Triumph. I'm looking forward to the Trip Out now that I've finally got around to buying tickets. I'm going to make a bit of a trip of the trip to the Trip Out.

Tuesday, 14 August 2012

How I Roll

 Dirty Americans 

**I can't get the link to work by clicking on the play button. Click the musical note and it'll take you to the site. You'll be well rewarded if you like a bit of rock.**

Wednesday, 8 August 2012


For all you tiki-heads out there, here is the latest addition to my bar-ware... A shrunken head bottle bought on eBay, sculpted by a man in Glasgow by the name of Garnet. Superbly made, it fills a nice gap if you need something a bit larger than a hip-flask. Collecting tiki stuff is completely different from collecting ceramic animals- those people are crazy.